i was being pessimistic?

well guys... i dont know why i was very moody and very pessimistic in the past few days... not much of you could realise that... haha...

well.. hereby i would like to apologise to someone, who i had been so rude and bad and really bad to him... i am very sorry...

i dont know why i was being so weird... i really dont know... maybe i was confused about my couples' thingys... you see... it was about someone and stan at first, then when i was about to get okay, then suddenly alex came in too... oh my god i was really confused and i was about to broke down at that time...

it had been really hard and really tough for me... well i know this is my personal stuff so i didnt really talk to anyone about it... i was hurt... badly hurt... alex... stan... someone... honestly i was suffering...

haha... well anyway... if really go and see... all those confusions and broke downs are caused by myself... some stupid thoughts... some really stupid and useless mindcepts... some so-called 'responsibilities'... some left-over feelings... haix... haha...

i am such a stupid guy... i said so bah right? i told you that bah right? it would be very very hard to be my boyfriend... even you are not my boyfriend yet i know... but dont you think it's hard, even just to be my friend? haha... well i felt that... i felt that it wasnt fair to you... no fair for you to stand so much pressures from me... just because of my stupid thoughts and things i caused pressures to you and made you harder... i am sorry for this... right someone?

well that's why i was like repeating how stupid i am... how weird i am... how weak i am... how petty i am... how raring i am... haix... again, i am stupid huh? haha... i am doing too much... over-act... stupid acts...

pessimistic? yes i think so... haha...